3×3 Rules in Marriage, Is it Works or Not?

3×3 Rules in Marriage

3×3 Rules in Marriage, Is it Works or Not?

Marriage is a complex and dynamic relationship that requires constant effort and attention from both partners. One approach that some couples have found helpful is the 3×3 rule. But what exactly is the 3×3 rule, and does it really work?

The 3×3 Rule Explained

The 3×3 rule in marriage is a simple concept that involves spending three minutes each day discussing three topics: appreciation, dreams, and needs. This practice is meant to foster connection, communication, and understanding between partners. The idea is that by regularly discussing these topics, couples can deepen their bond and prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.

Appreciation: The first topic of the 3×3 rule is appreciation. This involves expressing gratitude and admiration for your partner, acknowledging their efforts and contributions, and reminding them that you value and appreciate them.

Dreams: The second topic of the 3×3 rule is dreams. This involves sharing your goals, aspirations, and dreams with your partner, and listening to theirs in return. By discussing your shared dreams and aspirations, you can build a sense of shared purpose and vision for your future together.

Needs: The third and final topic of the 3×3 rule is needs. This involves discussing your emotional and practical needs with your partner, and being open and honest about what you require in order to feel fulfilled and supported in your relationship.

Does the 3×3 Rule Work?

While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to marriage, many couples have found the 3×3 rule to be helpful in improving communication and connection in their relationship. Studies have shown that regular communication and expressions of appreciation can have a positive impact on relationship satisfaction and overall well-being.

However, it’s important to note that the 3×3 rule is not a cure-all for relationship problems. It’s just one tool that can be used to strengthen a healthy and functional relationship. If you and your partner are struggling with more serious issues such as infidelity, abuse, or addiction, you may need to seek professional help.

Tips for Implementing the 3×3 Rule

If you’re interested in trying the 3×3 rule in your own marriage, here are some tips to help you get started:

  1. Set a consistent time and place for your daily check-ins. This could be in the morning over breakfast, or in the evening before bed.
  2. Be fully present and attentive during your 3-minute check-ins. Put away your phone and other distractions, and focus on listening to your partner.
  3. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Instead of saying “you never do this” or “you always do that,” focus on expressing your own thoughts and feelings. For example, “I feel appreciated when you do this” or “I would really like it if we could do this together.”
  4. Be open and honest about your needs and feelings, but also be respectful and empathetic towards your partner.
  5. Make the 3×3 rule a habit. Consistency is key, so try to make these daily check-ins a regular part of your routine.


The 3×3 rule in marriage is a simple yet powerful tool that can help couples strengthen their connection and communication. By regularly discussing appreciation, dreams, and needs, couples can build a deeper understanding and appreciation for one another. While the 3×3 rule is not a cure-all for relationship problems, it can be a helpful tool for couples who are committed to improving their relationship. So why not give it a try? You might be surprised at the positive impact it can have on your marriage.

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Article By – Wedding Edge Matrimony 

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